March 2009
cutiecutiecutie
so busy this week, even with the dying sickness.
went out to dinner with Sam on wednesday and that was great had awesome veggo Thai food.
and then went out to dinner again with the whole family on friday more yummy veggo food, the tofu was soooo yummy. and i had the best time. did lots of memory chasing.
then on Saturday mum, grandy and myself headed out to garden city while everyone else went...
this is not how i wanted it to end
today is a beautiful day. its raining and cold.
my morning did not start well. i would just like to slip away for a bit.
im going to drink tea all day and snuggle up on the couch watching movies.
even after everything im not and wont be afraid to fall again.
natasha neesons funeral looked sad, i cried abit.
halo
i had a great weekend
i have lovely bestfriends! who will always take care of me and i will allways take care of them. they mean so much to me.
they are appart of my family and more so then some true members.
i have the flu real bad but im feeling okay
damn it
my appointment got cancelled.
sigh of anxiety.
i took a sleeping pill last night and my whole day has felt like a dream.
but im waking up and ready to go. bring on the night, i need it.
this weekend will be killer. i cant beleve its here already tho.
oh well
here i go waiting around for nessg to come pick me up.
12:59AM
just made some food and now im just drinking some tea trying to talk my self into being sleepy and not wide awake!
i had a sleep this afternoon…not the best idear.
good stuff and bad stuff has happend of late. But only the good stuff is worth my energy. so my grandmother called me the other day and forced my into looking at what i want to do for my 18th and im so greatful! so i have...
SSDD
i watched stand by me today, again!
love that movie, its so…hm i cant even discribe it its just perfect.
also watched the signal and tropic thunder. tropic thunder was brilliantly funny.
its seems people have forgotten that relationships take time and work and people will make mistakes and you help them get back up and move one. you help one another thats what relationships are about....
a day
on friday night i fell alseep on top of my covers, i was listening to music trying to concentrate on the words and not other things. i guess it worked in away, or i just passed out from my anxiety/narcolepsis. then i slowly woke up with people telling me there was coffee waiting, watched a bit of tv, talked about things that i didnt want to talk about, got ready and headed out the the IKEA MEGA...
“I was sleeping so hard - Bill Beckett”
how strange it is to be alive at all
i have had extreamly hard night. i dont realy know what to say or to write.
excpet its all still there and i dont know how to get ridd of it. i dont even know if i want to.
dreams
i had the worst nightmares last night
i feel so terrible i can hardly stay awake and i went to bed at like 10 : 30 got up at 11 : 30
i just want someone to say you’re right. its okay. and dont worry.
like i need any more stress.
i feel like i have lost everyone and gained nothing. today i feel the most empty i have ever felt. mums coming home at 12 so she can be with me.
...
don't know.
i am having one of the worst nights of my life.
and its going to get worse. because i have to let people down and i hate that.
down and out
so this weekend was great except for today.
im so drained and i feel awful and im not going to get into why.
this week is going to be bad i can just tell… I should just escape to denmark/albany for a bit i have been dealing here for so long, im ready to run away for a bit.
EB.
February 2009
